Elizabeth Hie (Cell Leader, CYZ)
Lee Pui Fung & Elizabeth Hie What is one most important spiritual lesson I have learnt?
I learnt about the Father’s love for me. It has been a long time since I’ve viewed my Father as how Ps Chris have mentioned. I remembered those times I’ve imagined walking close with My Father in Heaven, dancing with Him and He swinging me around on the air just like a father playing with his own child. As I got older, I slowly lost that perspective. I slowly lose the vision I had for my Father. I ran away so many times and sometimes, I even forget what it was like to be at home in His arms, as I searched through the right path that points me back to Him. I learnt most importantly that, God did not only wait on me but when he saw me from a distant, He ran to me! That is how amazing my Father is to me, when I do not deserve this kind of treatment. This I know, that the Father would not disown me when I turn back to Him. So, from here, I learnt and experienced the amazing love God has for me and I ran back to my first love.
I learnt not to put people to shame as well and I’m sure I’ll remember that when I am to teach my children as well. That was a revelation for me. Lastly, I learnt that putting sins under Jesus feet wasn’t easy. It is so easy to look back and take it back again and indulge in the old ways. I’ve learnt not to look back but look forward to Christ. Yes, I may have to deal with some of these problems or even face the consequences, but I know that I am moving on in the race that the Creator have marked out for me not being stuck at one place or going backwards but running forward.
What has transacted between you and God during the weekend?
God really touched me during BMEW. I haven’t cried so much in years because of God’s touch. I feel so refreshed and I think that the joy has been restored in me! I have been longing for that joy for years!!! After I cried and cried, I finally have that joy in my heart. It’s amazing! I really needed all that. I feel so often that it is so hard for me to really reach out to Him and I was running dry. I really needed something from God; a sign, a touch… and I am really glad that He did touch me that night. Also, I think God really strengthen me throughout the whole 2 days ‘cause I was extremely tired. He spoke to me a lot through the lessons and the experiences shared by Ps. Chris. I am really thankful that I was given the opportunity to attend BMEW again as a refresher course for leaders.
How did you feel before and after the Encounter Weekend?
Before BMEW, I was really tired. I was wondering why I sign up for this when I went through it years ago (known as BMW last time). I just got back from camp and I’m going off again. The night before the Encounter Weekend I sort of had an argument with someone close to me. Negative thoughts filled my mind; such as ‘it’ll be boring’, ‘I’ll probably fall asleep there anyway’ and etc. The more, I didn’t feel like attending the Encounter Weekend. I began to question whether I was going because of my friends or because I really wanted to learn something from there. Answer: Both, because I know that besides having friends there, I know that I needed something from God. To my surprise, it was the opposite of what I have thought. The Encounter Weekend was amazing! After the Encounter Weekend, I know that I am much happier than I used to be. I guess, it’s because of the joy in me =) Though I had this complaining spirit in me from time to time, I am much aware of it and try not to do so now (also, reduced quite a fair bit, I think). I am so ever thankful for Him and what He has done in my life. He has restored so many things in my life. I walk more confidently now and am still learning. I have a more positive mindset about the things I do and pray continuously for strength to carry me thru each day and to do the best in anything I do and do it with joy, the right spirit and a spirit of excellence. I apply this as I work now.
Why should others attend the Encounter Weekend?
It is not just permissible but it is beneficial for all of us. You get to refresh your spirit, experience God and apply what you have learnt for each lesson. The application may be symbolic during the weekend, but it is really helpful and it does mean something. Those who have attended BMW should attend BMEW. I really wish I could attend again or be Baptist again *hahaha* It is beneficial for both leaders and members. Do not underestimate what God can do during the Encounter Weekend.
My own short testimony…
As a new leader in church (about half a year already), it has not been easy. I would not say my ride with Jesus was smooth. It was like a rollercoaster. People expect leaders to be ‘on top’ when it comes to spirituality. Well, we leaders have the duty to lead His people to the right way and it is scary when you do not know the answers to the questions post, or intimidated by the members around you. What some people don’t realize that, leaders can fall as well and leaders need much encouragement in their spiritual and emotional lives, just as others because they can fall as well. But I guess all these depends on whether the leaders want help from their members or is willing to open up to others to do something about what is happening in their own lives. Walking as a leader can be quite lonely and personally, I questioned the life that I am living, the purpose of it all. I still held unto my faith… but I felt as if I was hanging there, in the edge of a mountain about to fall but still hanging there. As a leader, you tend not to disclose this information to your members but I did during PreU Getaway as all of us shared our life stories during that camp. I was still searching my way through and am running out of water, thirsty and needed to be filled. Still, nothing much really changed. I knew that I was far from Him. Often, I am ashamed by the things I did, the temptations I fell and sin I’ve committed and I didn’t dare to look at God. I still ask for His forgiveness but I couldn’t bring myself to really forgive myself and look to Him. Like a little child locked in her room and does not want to face her parents because she knew she did something wrong. She didn’t dare to look up to her parents. That was me.
This BMEW changed my life, changed my perspective about God and renewed my covenant with Him. He brought joy into my life, peace and helped me to surrender and look forward in life. He changed my perspective about Him, My Father and the world around me. His spirit was upon me, filling my emptiness and all I could do was cry unto Him… cry it all out. Life was not easy for me because loneliness and emptiness consumed me and I didn’t have the joy to live or urgency in my life. Don’t get me wrong, I have a wonderful family, friends and blessed life. I do appreciate these people that God put in my life. It’s just that, it was really tough because I was carrying a whole bunch of baggage, behind my shoulders- sins, guilt, low self-esteem, comparing myself with others, trying to please others etc. That’s why I find it harder to live and sometimes, I feel as if no one really understands or know what I’m going through, except God Himself because I find that people see me as someone always smiley and happy-go-lucky girl; almost “perfect” and I didn’t want to disappoint them. Soon, I found out that perhaps, I was the one who put such expectations on myself, not them, and when I can’t reach those expectations, I would run and hide away, afraid that the people I love wouldn’t accept me, which includes My Heavenly Father as well. I began to realize that I have been living my own life or living what others expect me to be instead of living a life that is pleasing to Him or of what He wants me to be.
I am thankful that our God is a faithful God. He still searched for me when I ran away, looking out at the horizon. He is amazing… and no one can ever comprehend His beauty and wonder. I didn’t expect anything from this BMEW. But God expected me there… and He had a plan for me. Indeed, he filled me with His joy and peace. I know that I have to do something to maintain this or I can slip away without my own knowledge. I pray that I will continue to seek Him each day and know that He is my God and there is nothing too hard for Him that He can’t do. He loves me and at last, I can tell Him that I really love Him too, after those months or years. I am found in Him! Thank be unto Jesus, Amen! =)
I learnt that being in so many ministries in church or having so many people in your life cannot compensate the love and joy that God can provide you with. Yes, we can get support from there, prayers and encouragements… but if we do not have a relationship with this God, a real solid, sincere relationship with Him; whichever ministry you are in, no matter how many ministries you may serve or how many friends you have made or how many people loves you, again, it is not enough and it cannot fully give us life that is filled with true everlasting love, peace and joy. It’s like going back to square one of your loneliness, emptiness, worries, hurts and problems again- consciously or unconsciously. This is because, we left out the most important person, who deserves our time, relationship and our lives… the Source of our salvation, the Giver of these gifts and the Creator who has made us.
I learnt about the Father’s love for me. It has been a long time since I’ve viewed my Father as how Ps Chris have mentioned. I remembered those times I’ve imagined walking close with My Father in Heaven, dancing with Him and He swinging me around on the air just like a father playing with his own child. As I got older, I slowly lost that perspective. I slowly lose the vision I had for my Father. I ran away so many times and sometimes, I even forget what it was like to be at home in His arms, as I searched through the right path that points me back to Him. I learnt most importantly that, God did not only wait on me but when he saw me from a distant, He ran to me! That is how amazing my Father is to me, when I do not deserve this kind of treatment. This I know, that the Father would not disown me when I turn back to Him. So, from here, I learnt and experienced the amazing love God has for me and I ran back to my first love.
I learnt not to put people to shame as well and I’m sure I’ll remember that when I am to teach my children as well. That was a revelation for me. Lastly, I learnt that putting sins under Jesus feet wasn’t easy. It is so easy to look back and take it back again and indulge in the old ways. I’ve learnt not to look back but look forward to Christ. Yes, I may have to deal with some of these problems or even face the consequences, but I know that I am moving on in the race that the Creator have marked out for me not being stuck at one place or going backwards but running forward.
What has transacted between you and God during the weekend?
God really touched me during BMEW. I haven’t cried so much in years because of God’s touch. I feel so refreshed and I think that the joy has been restored in me! I have been longing for that joy for years!!! After I cried and cried, I finally have that joy in my heart. It’s amazing! I really needed all that. I feel so often that it is so hard for me to really reach out to Him and I was running dry. I really needed something from God; a sign, a touch… and I am really glad that He did touch me that night. Also, I think God really strengthen me throughout the whole 2 days ‘cause I was extremely tired. He spoke to me a lot through the lessons and the experiences shared by Ps. Chris. I am really thankful that I was given the opportunity to attend BMEW again as a refresher course for leaders.
How did you feel before and after the Encounter Weekend?
Before BMEW, I was really tired. I was wondering why I sign up for this when I went through it years ago (known as BMW last time). I just got back from camp and I’m going off again. The night before the Encounter Weekend I sort of had an argument with someone close to me. Negative thoughts filled my mind; such as ‘it’ll be boring’, ‘I’ll probably fall asleep there anyway’ and etc. The more, I didn’t feel like attending the Encounter Weekend. I began to question whether I was going because of my friends or because I really wanted to learn something from there. Answer: Both, because I know that besides having friends there, I know that I needed something from God. To my surprise, it was the opposite of what I have thought. The Encounter Weekend was amazing! After the Encounter Weekend, I know that I am much happier than I used to be. I guess, it’s because of the joy in me =) Though I had this complaining spirit in me from time to time, I am much aware of it and try not to do so now (also, reduced quite a fair bit, I think). I am so ever thankful for Him and what He has done in my life. He has restored so many things in my life. I walk more confidently now and am still learning. I have a more positive mindset about the things I do and pray continuously for strength to carry me thru each day and to do the best in anything I do and do it with joy, the right spirit and a spirit of excellence. I apply this as I work now.
Why should others attend the Encounter Weekend?
It is not just permissible but it is beneficial for all of us. You get to refresh your spirit, experience God and apply what you have learnt for each lesson. The application may be symbolic during the weekend, but it is really helpful and it does mean something. Those who have attended BMW should attend BMEW. I really wish I could attend again or be Baptist again *hahaha* It is beneficial for both leaders and members. Do not underestimate what God can do during the Encounter Weekend.
My own short testimony…
As a new leader in church (about half a year already), it has not been easy. I would not say my ride with Jesus was smooth. It was like a rollercoaster. People expect leaders to be ‘on top’ when it comes to spirituality. Well, we leaders have the duty to lead His people to the right way and it is scary when you do not know the answers to the questions post, or intimidated by the members around you. What some people don’t realize that, leaders can fall as well and leaders need much encouragement in their spiritual and emotional lives, just as others because they can fall as well. But I guess all these depends on whether the leaders want help from their members or is willing to open up to others to do something about what is happening in their own lives. Walking as a leader can be quite lonely and personally, I questioned the life that I am living, the purpose of it all. I still held unto my faith… but I felt as if I was hanging there, in the edge of a mountain about to fall but still hanging there. As a leader, you tend not to disclose this information to your members but I did during PreU Getaway as all of us shared our life stories during that camp. I was still searching my way through and am running out of water, thirsty and needed to be filled. Still, nothing much really changed. I knew that I was far from Him. Often, I am ashamed by the things I did, the temptations I fell and sin I’ve committed and I didn’t dare to look at God. I still ask for His forgiveness but I couldn’t bring myself to really forgive myself and look to Him. Like a little child locked in her room and does not want to face her parents because she knew she did something wrong. She didn’t dare to look up to her parents. That was me.
This BMEW changed my life, changed my perspective about God and renewed my covenant with Him. He brought joy into my life, peace and helped me to surrender and look forward in life. He changed my perspective about Him, My Father and the world around me. His spirit was upon me, filling my emptiness and all I could do was cry unto Him… cry it all out. Life was not easy for me because loneliness and emptiness consumed me and I didn’t have the joy to live or urgency in my life. Don’t get me wrong, I have a wonderful family, friends and blessed life. I do appreciate these people that God put in my life. It’s just that, it was really tough because I was carrying a whole bunch of baggage, behind my shoulders- sins, guilt, low self-esteem, comparing myself with others, trying to please others etc. That’s why I find it harder to live and sometimes, I feel as if no one really understands or know what I’m going through, except God Himself because I find that people see me as someone always smiley and happy-go-lucky girl; almost “perfect” and I didn’t want to disappoint them. Soon, I found out that perhaps, I was the one who put such expectations on myself, not them, and when I can’t reach those expectations, I would run and hide away, afraid that the people I love wouldn’t accept me, which includes My Heavenly Father as well. I began to realize that I have been living my own life or living what others expect me to be instead of living a life that is pleasing to Him or of what He wants me to be.
I am thankful that our God is a faithful God. He still searched for me when I ran away, looking out at the horizon. He is amazing… and no one can ever comprehend His beauty and wonder. I didn’t expect anything from this BMEW. But God expected me there… and He had a plan for me. Indeed, he filled me with His joy and peace. I know that I have to do something to maintain this or I can slip away without my own knowledge. I pray that I will continue to seek Him each day and know that He is my God and there is nothing too hard for Him that He can’t do. He loves me and at last, I can tell Him that I really love Him too, after those months or years. I am found in Him! Thank be unto Jesus, Amen! =)
I learnt that being in so many ministries in church or having so many people in your life cannot compensate the love and joy that God can provide you with. Yes, we can get support from there, prayers and encouragements… but if we do not have a relationship with this God, a real solid, sincere relationship with Him; whichever ministry you are in, no matter how many ministries you may serve or how many friends you have made or how many people loves you, again, it is not enough and it cannot fully give us life that is filled with true everlasting love, peace and joy. It’s like going back to square one of your loneliness, emptiness, worries, hurts and problems again- consciously or unconsciously. This is because, we left out the most important person, who deserves our time, relationship and our lives… the Source of our salvation, the Giver of these gifts and the Creator who has made us.
posted by Chris Kam @ 3:16 am
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