Janice Ng (CG-Lily Wong, PJN1)

Janice Ng & Christine Koh

Reflection by Janice Ng

Everything written below contains facts and not fiction. (A bit of a mockery to Dan Brown) Okay, jokes aside.

1. What is one most important spiritual lesson I have learnt?

I’ve learnt that we need to be careful in the way we speak and treat others (generational sins). I know that rejection exists and occurs quite frequently if we’re not careful but I didn’t realize the impact it would cause and that it could happen anytime and anywhere, right from the womb. As I ponder over it, it does make me feel concern about the way I carry myself. I know I am prone to letting people down, therefore this is a good lesson to evaluate myself every time I do personal reflections on myself. I’m very glad to have this ‘new’ awareness.

2. What has transacted between you and God this weekend?

It all started from the drama series, The Prodigal Son. I think if Pr Chris didn’t ‘dramatize’ it, I wouldn’t have imagined how much I would miss. The part that touched me so much was during the scene when the father ran to his son. I imagined myself as the son walking slowly and Father running to my direction. During the time when we kneeled, what went through my mind was a flashback of memories of my past, the memories that involved my r’ship with God. I was reminded of the times God ‘ran’ back to me. (Pr Chris, remember how you shared that your sons were different and you will have to discipline and approach them differently?) I came to a conclusion that God is not a ‘one size fits all’. He approaches his children differently too. That makes our r’ship with Him unique. Well, back to my memories. You see, I am somebody very stubborn, find difficulty with trust and am full of pride. My journey with God in my past was like a rollercoaster ride. Many times I’m just too proud to turn to God to ask for help. I take my life in my own hands and of course, it fell apart slowly. There were 2 times I wanted to give God up because I felt that He wasn’t doing anything in my life. One specific memory that was in my running thoughts was during an exam. It was 3 years ago. At that time, my life was so ‘noisy’ and busy I had no time to listen to God. Even if He called, I couldn’t hear. He chose my exam time to talk to me, when everything around me was quiet and when my concentration was most. He spoke these exact words inside me, ‘My child, My child. Why have you left Me?’ God knew my pride. Many times in my life, He gave me ‘missed calls’ and it was up to me to return that call. I’m very blessed indeed! (Those who will be reading this, I am not suggesting that we should put God to the test lah) The final ‘image’ that appeared in my mind was a picture of an elderly man carrying an orange cat in the air, facing him. This elderly man was smiling with so much happiness as if he was carrying his firstborn.

Why is this symbol of the cat important to me? I love cats to the extreme. I’ve been prayed once by Pr Yin Meng and God used her to speak to me using examples of cat behaviour. I didn’t even mention it to Pr Yin Meng, couldn’t be a coincident could it? God knew I adored them very much. He told me that I am deeply loved, like how he would love kittens.

So basically this is the second time God uses the image of a cat to remind me that I’m deeply loved. This weekend was more of a Father-and-daughter time.

3. How did you feel before and after BMEW?

Before: A little bit anxious because I really didn’t know what to expect therefore I didn’t prepare myself. I knew that Pr Chris will pray for those who want to receive the baptism of the Holy Spirit and was hoping that I receive it. I was also looking forward to meet new brothers and sisters in Christ because knowing more people from church is great, rather than going to celebrations not being able to see familiar faces.

After: I pondered a lot about my habitual sins and some broken r’ships. How to deal with them rather than suppress/ignore it. Honestly I didn’t sleep well for a few nights because there are some unsettled businesses. I believe God wants to bring these memories back as some were forgotten so that I can act upon it. It was difficult because I have to put down my pride to say ‘I’m sorry’ and admit my mistakes. But I see it as a time to ‘repair’ situations lah.

4. Why should others attend BMEW?

Well, sometimes we think we know everything and we think that our r’ship with God is a bed of roses. This BMEW is a good test to check ourselves, I find. I am astounded myself, how much more I needed to know! Plus, how much pride I needed to deal with. Pr Chris conducts this very well indeed and I learn so much. I am still learning new things when I look into the manual.